Welcome to the “New Normal”

Well the last month has really turned my life upside down. It has taken me a while to be able to process my emotions and thoughts. Now that we are in a lull, I have had time to do all this. I think the last post, I posted about was having surgery and waiting on my results. Well the results are in….there is no cancer and I had clean margins. The flip side is that I was diagnosed with Atypical Hyperplasia. This in itself puts me at a higher risk for breast cancer. My risk is double that of a normal person.

I was sent to see the oncologist. I actually saw two and I absolutely love the second one I saw. They didn’t really tell me anything different but I felt that I had more time to do a little research to gather more questions. I was told that if it is one thing I do, it should be to stop the depo shot. It contains hormones…the problem is that we don’t know if my body is receptive to the progesterone or not. We know for a fact it is receptive to estrogen. Because I didn’t have cancer the test was not done for progesterone. At least that is what we think or they didn’t find any. Either way it is a hormone and they want me to stop. I did find on the American Cancer site that any birth control that you stop still carries you a 10 year risk before it decreases….so I feel damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Then it was suggested that I try taking tamoxifen for a month. I am not really crazy about some of the side effects. That lowers my risk by I think he said 49%. Still not really convinced that I want to deal with the side effects for 5 years. There is the possibility of finding a GYN to remove my ovaries. I don’t really want that but it would be proactive. Now I don’t have to rush to make a decision. I am not there yet….thankfully. One thing didn’t sit well with me from the first oncologist was she kept saying you don’t have cancer yet…. like it’s right there knocking on my back door. I didn’t care for that.

I am going in for a genetic counseling appointment on Monday. I have found out that there is cancer that runs in my family. I don’t know what this is going to tell me exactly other then if I have genetic  markers. Whether I have genetic markers or not, 80 – 85% of the cancers people get are not genetically linked. So this test doesn’t ease my mind either way. I am not sure how I am going to react to any of the news. I don’t know if that will mean more treatment or if this will help later down the road for treatment….I really don’t know. I guess I will know more on Monday.

The oncologist nurse said Welcome to the new normal….well as you can see I haven’t embraced it…..and it really isn’t welcoming….in fact I am still trying to figure out what normal is. We haven’t really followed our schedules the last month. All these appointments have been interfering….It is slowing down and we will figure out our schedules again. If I keep myself busy I can’t think….so that’s what I have been doing. The kids did a day of school work this week and then I gave them off. My house is one thing that has suffered through this as well. So because I am still healing from surgery I have been going room by room cleaning, purging, and rearranging. I will be done today sometime….hopefully. Then I can stay on top of cleaning much easier. I can tell you that I have felt accomplished! That is an amazing feeling all on its own!

This week is a little busy with appointments and field trips but I have a schedule set for the kids. I think I am prepared to make it all happen this week with school work again. I am not as concerned as we started our school year in August and we have some really good time in on school hours. So this little speed bump didn’t affect us like I thought it did. I have some really fun things planned this week for the kids. I thought a little bit out of the box. So next week I hope to share it all with you on a regular basis. I do have a conference coming up in November on transition again. So I will be excited to share what I have learned.

So welcome to the new normal!!


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