Special Needs Parenting— Some days are just frustrating!!

Friday was a really rough day! Most of you know that I have been trying to work on transitioning with my son. There are times I see some positive and then there are times I see some negative and I wonder if we will ever get over this bump. Now please when I say this I am not saying that he can’t or he won’t. I am speaking of this point in time, as I have no idea what the future holds and I can only work on building off of things now to prepare him.

Well Friday I was talking to both of the kids and explaining to them that we will be joining a co-op once a week. Now I wanted my son in with the high school kids his age but after seeing the topics of choice I don’t think he will fit in there, nor do I think he will understand the topics. I think it would be to hard for him. There is another co-op and I am working on seeing if there is a way that he can help out so he isn’t singled out or feeling like he is with younger kids. I want him to help and still experience the learning. Trying to blend him in with out feeling different. Well I brought it up and right away he was like no I am not going. Well then if you don’t want to go then you can just go to regular school all day. I am tired of trying to find the fun things that interest him and then his attitude is to piss all over it and complain. I have included him to let him pick things. It has become so difficult at times to work based off his interests. At the moment I feel a little stuck. Part of the reason he doesn’t want to go is because he has to step out of his comfort zone. The other part is he just doesn’t want to do it. Well he is in for a rude awakening because I have decided he will go whether he likes it or not. I have to push his comfort zones from time to time. This is going to be one of those times.

Well during this talk I started crying because I was frustrated. My daughter has kinda got the raw end of the deal with him not wanting to go places. She wants that friendship more then anything. I really think this co-op will be a good things for both of them. We finally found a homeschool group where everyone gets along. No one is singled out and there is no clicks. The kids are happy playing with everyone. Yes I know I am driving distance from them and really wished I lived closer. I will do what we need to do so she is happy. She started crying to because her needs we acknowledged. Who knows where we will end moving to, once we actually find a house. Maybe we will be even closer to the homeschool group. Fingers crossed as I am kinda hoping that. Then we talked about memories and she started crying harder. I was like why are  you crying….her answer was you said memories. I think she took it as I was going somewhere or something. I told her it was something she could look back on and remember when she got older.

Then later I had to take my son to the ENT. He has been having nose bleeds that have been lasting longer then they should. 2 out of 3 he had high blood pressure. This last time I couldn’t check because he was at his group outting. Well I didn’t say anything about clouterization because one I didn’t know if she would do it and two I didn’t want him to start panicking and getting all stressed out. Well the nurse said she needed me to sign a paper for it and the look on his face you could tell he wasn’t happy. I thought for sure he was going to have a melt down. So I had her explain what it was and how they did it. It was nothing like he thought it was. Well the doctor came in and he wouldn’t make eye contact and didn’t want to shake her hand. I had to prompt him to shake her hand. She would ask him questions and he wouldn’t answer. So I had to re ask the question to prompt him to answer. I was a little bit frustrated because she was trying to figure things out and he really wasn’t cooperating. Then she took this thing and looked in his nose but she made his nostrils bigger. His eyes were watering and I could tell he was annoyed. Well we just have to by Affrin for the next nose bleed and follow what we already do. Keep track of how long it is. If it is long again we make an appointment for the next day. I had no idea that the nose healed that fast. She said it looked irritated but nothing needed to be done. We were then out of there and he was grumbling.

So my thought at the moment about the doctors was that at this point in time I see guardian ship over his health. Where he will be in a year I don’t know. We will keep on working on it to see if we can make more progress. We will see how the next doctor appointment he has in September goes. He wants to talk about his night time meds. I will not do the talking for that. He needs to discuss it with the doctor or they will not be changed. We talked about what it was he wanted and reached an agreement of what would happen if it would be hard for him to fall asleep. So we have a back up plan. Baby steps….we still have plenty of time to work on things.

Friday was a really tough day. I think I was more frustrated then anything because there are times I don’t know what to do. As far as the whole co-op talk….yes I know he at an age being a teenager where school is not of interest. I remember being 16 years old. So I think that is part of it. I just wish I could sometimes get into his head so I can figure out exactly what he is interested in. I know that he probably doesn’t even really know. We can toss out ideas but sometimes it back fires. So I have to keep brainstorming and thinking out of the box.

Today is a new day with new ideas and whole new outlook. My point of this post was to let you know that you are not alone. There are good days and there are bad days. One by one we get through them. Hang in there!

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