Well this morning was beyond crazy here for us. Dakota was fine when he woke up and he got dressed for school and I don’t know what happened but he ended up in a frenzy. I have this little open space as I call it a hole in my kitchen. It’s a little cubby space I suppose you could say. My heater for my kitchen blows out there. Weird space I know.
He was crying and climbed into the little cubby in my kitchen and he wouldn’t come out. Things got a little heated this morning and I diffused the situation and finally got him calm down. It’s not the fact that he doesn’t want to go to school it’s the stress and anxiety that is placed on him when you mention and get him to school. I got ready and by the time I got ready he was crying and laying down on my bed. I asked him what was wrong and he said my throat hurts and my body aches. I knew right away he was stressing himself out over school as these are the things he normally says when he gets to school. I called the DR and made an appointment.
We got to the Drs and fingers to the mouth bitting on his fingers and he wouldn’t make eye contact or talk to anyone. I think he did respond to one of the nurses for a question if they were lucky. Dr checked him over and just as I suspected he said stress and anxiety. Well I decided that I wasn’t going to fight with him as I seen he was pretty stressed out that I brought him back home and called the principal.
She didn’t bother calling until almost 3 today. I told her I wanted to request a full IEP team meeting as I was very concerned about the stress and anxiety. I don’t think they are taking me seriously at just how stressed out he is. That is the part that really upsets me. You get the I think he handles things fine from his teacher. I really don’t think she is seeing the signs. In fact let me tell you exactly why I think this. First of all you know Dakota is noise sensitive , you know he can’t stand being around a crowd of people, well you know what they did?? They made him sit through 2hours of a play in the school auditorium. Even my oldest son who is not autistic said it was loud. Dakota was so upset after that was over and I picked him up. What part do they know get? If you ask me they are stressing him more out at times.
I was really upset this morning because I feel like things are back as to how they were in kindergarten and they just aren’t listening. Well I knew it would get to this point. So I called Disability Rights of Wisconsin. An advocate will be contacting me in 3 – 5. They are going to schedule an IEP meeting just not sure exactly when. They got right on the ball and contacted me with times so that was good. I know I won’t be alone in the meeting as the counselor will be coming in as she is the one whom recommended I set up a meeting, possibly Dakota’s case manager here from the county, I am hoping another case manager comes as she rocks when it comes to IEP’s. She don’t let them get away with anything. She stands her ground and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Then possibly the advocate. I have to get a current copy of his IEP as I don’t think things are implemented on how they are going to handle the stress.
Everything I think I want for Dakota I keep thinking well is it going to work or is it going to be the same way. I know I will never know unless I try everything. It will be interesting to see what they try to come up with. Honestly I don’t think they can accommodate him the way he needs to be accommodated. I believe he should be in the Special Ed room with a smaller group. Not permanently until he is able to handle things. I think that he is over stimulated also. The thing is they don’t have a Special Ed room the kids can be in all day long. Dakota gets pulled out of class for a couple things here and there. They want total inclusion if you ask me and I think it’s a big mistake. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like I don’t want Dakota to be mainstreamed into a classroom. Right now he just can’t handle it.
It really concerns me with the things I have been noticing. Here I think some of this is bad behaviors and these are the choices he is making. In reality, not trying to blame autism, the psychiatrist said there are going to be behaviors from the autism that can’t be controlled with the meds and I think the social stress, and the stress from school is what I can’t control. I feel so bad as I don’t know how to make things easier. I keep fighting with the school but I don’t know what I am fighting for. Well I do know what I am fighting for as I really want them to send him to a different school but I don’t know what grounds or how I can get them to do it. I am still trying to figure out how I can say they can’t accommodate him.
Really what I need is a date for those evaluations as that will give me some more leverage but unfortunately I don’t have that at the moment. I only have what the neuropysch has suggested. And that was for them to stop treating the ADHD and focus on the autism. Sometimes I think they just don’t see the things I see. Do they know what to watch for? I sometimes really question it. Alot of times I question it.
I am hoping that the psychiatrist can write something and maybe write some suggestions for school too. I know that I have people behind me. I am not worried about that. That is more then I had when Dakota was in Kindergarten so that is good. We shall see but it sure sucks watching Dakota suffer the way he is. I know I am his best advocate and I will continue to keep fighting for what I believe is best for him.
Another thing is we don’t know what things will be like if we don’t try. Even if I shortened his day, or he was in special ed for the day, or chartered school. No matter what the question is will he still have the same anxiety. That’s where the I don’t know if we don’t try comes in.
School choice just started today and I am putting in for the Charter School as the last resort. I don’t feel I should have to be the one to make the school choice to send him to another school that should be the school’s job especially if they can’t accomodate his needs.
Ok I am done rambling as I think I have repeated myself. LOL Thanks for reading if you made it this far!