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  Erica said,

  Interesting discussion. My daughter is high-functioning. She’s got Asperger’s and is considered above average in intelligence. With that said, her social skills are, of course, all over the place.

  She is very familiar with me saying, “this is unacceptable behavior” or “this is acceptable behavior” it’s like a mantra and sometimes I get tired of saying it… but she needs it.

  Basically, her therapist said that she needs very clear in black and white rules. To create a “rule book”. As she goes along and does things, if it’s an important behavior that needs to be changed. It goes in the rule book. Then it’s a rule that she follows. Trying to explain rational reasoning as to why something shouldn’t be done a certain way just doesn’t work all that well.

  She takes things so literally that it creates issues sometimes. Having some strong and solid “rules” for her to follow takes out the “read between the lines” mentality. She can’t read between the lines and if she tries, most the time, she gets it wrong.

  Happy Friday to you!
  Erica´s last blog ..Friday Food: Little Butterfinger Treats

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  admin Reply:
  September 18th, 2009 at 9:55 am

  Erica I really like the rule book idea. I am going to write that down. That’s really a great idea. I wonder why no one thought of that with Dakota. Dakota is all over the place too. It’s rather frustrating some times.

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  Lori said,

  Have you thought about making a one-page printout of what your daughter’s Asperger’s looks like? I’ve had a few families I’ve worked with in the past that it worked well for. They did a few sentences on “What is Autism” to refresh family memory. Then they put specific behaviors that were autism-related versus “typical kid stuff” there was also a list of key phrases such as the ones Erica used above that helped family members learn how to appropriately respond the same way you do.

  Hope it helps a little!

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  admin Reply:
  September 18th, 2009 at 9:58 am

  Thanks Lori. That does kind of help. My dad has been reading about autism but when it comes to behaviors that Dakota pulls such as not wanting to go to school and then freaking out about the noise. For that particular even it was because he isn’t use to the structure I am guessing. I think there is something going on at school that is really bothering Dakota too.

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  Neil Dawson said,

  Hi, I have found a site that has some great information on it, funnily enough the website is called Super Nanny!

  I hope this may be interesting

  http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Health-and-Development/-/Special-Needs/Behaviour-and-Discipline-issues-for-children-with-Autistic-Spectrum-Disorders.aspx

  Take care!

  [Reply]

  

  admin Reply:
  September 18th, 2009 at 9:58 am

  Thanks for sharing the link Neil I will go take a look at it now.

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  Laura said,

  I have a 17 yr old with Asperger’s.

  He does not want anything in his life to change, even if it may be for the better. He hates to go and get his hair cut. He could care less if it looks like crap. He says he isn’t interested in what what people think of how he looks.

  Before the diagnosis I thought this behavior came from stubborness and rebellion. I was angry and forceful when it came time to get his hair cut. After the diagnosis I understand that he has a lot of anxiety, and really does not worry about what other people think about his looks. He needs to have everything the same to feel calm.
  I learned to start letting him know a week in advance that we were going to get his hair cut. Everyday I mentioned that we would just get it trimmed, but it would look just the same way. We go to the same barber every single time. The barber is very quiet and seems to sense that my son has some anxiety, so he eases into the cut and makes it look exactly like it did the last time.

  Now my son isn’t freaking out and my blood pressure stays within normal range. And, he looks handsome with the hair cut!
  Laura´s last blog ..Happy?

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  admin Reply:
  September 18th, 2009 at 10:35 am

  Thanks Laura! Dakota at times is funny about getting his hair cut but at other times he doesn’t care. This time around he tried to cut it himself without telling us he wanted a hair cut. LOL

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  Libertine said,

  Sometimes the simplest things are difficult to explain. As it’s been said before, Autistic children feel safe when routine, rituals are kept and the spoken cues are clear. Remind the family members, that Dakota cannot read facial expressions, therefore word games, sarcasm will be taken wrong and can cause a reaction different from expected.
  Libertine´s last blog ..… And the fall

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  Thom said,

  I wish I had an answer on this one my friend. I’m so just learning about all of this. You seem to me to be doing what is needed and just loving and being a great mom. I would think keep that up and I’ll share things I’ve seen and heard with you. Check out this post by Susan: Yo! Little help?
  Thom´s last blog ..Are You Protein, Carbs, or Fat? and UH Football

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  admin Reply:
  September 18th, 2009 at 9:15 pm

  Thanks Thom! The day gets more frustrating after Dakota got home. Just when you think your dealing with one thing your dealing with another. LOL

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  shraddha@theselfloveproject said,

  i agree that its a very thin line..

  its a great responsibility that parents walk that line carefully!
  shraddha@theselfloveproject´s last blog ..Addiction or Bliss?

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